Okay, I’m for certain not getting sick; I am, however, allergic to work. Remember last Friday when I thought I was coming down with something? Well, it never amounted to anything, and, in fact, I felt great all weekend. Today, however, I’m back at work, and the sneezing and runny nose is worse! I must be allergic to my job.
Yesterday, I decided to get rid of all the things David gave me as gifts when we were together. The angel candlestick, the dancing frogs candlestick, the ceramic roses, and the carousel horses. He gave me some books at the end there, too, and I’ve already sold those, and the ring, as you all know, is gone as well. Part of me feels miserable at the thought of getting rid of all these neat things, but another part of me is just sick and tired of looking at them. They just keep reminding me of how happy I once was. One of the consignment shops I tried to get my clothes into also takes knick-knacks, so I’ll call them and make an appointment to bring the stuff in. Hopefully they’ll take it. I’d hate to give that stuff away to Goodwill. I’m trying to decide now if I should get rid of the photos as well. I’ve gotten rid of some of them, but I might keep a few. It is part of my own personal history, after all. I might just put them in an envelope with a brief explanation, but remove them from the albums and such.
I know I’ve mentioned this before, and managed to talk myself out of it, but I’m thinking of selling my car, now, too. David and I really got her together, he taught me how to drive her (manual transmission), he basically named her, and as much as I like my car, and enjoy driving her, there are David memories attached to her, and I really need to be rid of them. I do have a car in mind I want, but it won’t be available in this country until 2002 (or so the rumour goes), so I’ve decided to keep Fiona one more year, drive the hell out of her, enjoy the hell out of her, and be rid of her, perhaps by this time next year, or the first quarter of 2002. The new car I want? Oh, it’s the new BMW Mini Cooper S. They say it’ll be sold for no more than $18,000, (I’m guessing around $20,000 for the S model that I want, so it’ll be about the same as what Fiona cost), and I’ve got some money in the bank to start building on. It should help that I’m not going to buy anything all of next year (except necessities, of course), and will be able to put some extra money in the bank. Heck, even if I can’t manage the Mini, I’ll get a new car, maybe even a new-to-me Miata.
Then I got to thinking, should I get rid of all the stuff Batty gave me as well? He gave me mostly Beanie Babies, and stuff like that. Stuff that I like. (Not that I didn’t like the stuff David gave me, but my tastes have changed since then.) Honestly, I couldn’t tell you exactly which Beanies he gave me and which ones I bought on my own, so getting rid of the ones he gave me might be a pain in the ass. I’ll probably just hang on to all that stuff, as there’s no real bad memories associated with them. Some sadness, definitely, and tons of guilt, but no bad memories.
Although I hope that getting rid of all the Davidstuff will help me get over all this crap once and for all, I’m sure realistically, I’ll still think about our time together, and still miss everything, even the really shitty parts.
Anyway . . . Spent the weekend fighting ants again. This time in the kitchen, which is the biggest pain in the ass ever. I made the mistake of not taking the garbage out of the kitchen Friday night or doing the dishes, and when I came out first thing Saturday morning to make my coffee and take care of the mess, there were literally hundreds of little black ants all over the counter, the window sill and the sink. Shit, shit, shit. I tried activating the ant killers I had, but they must be too old as they didn’t attract any of the little bastards. I ended up scrubbing the whole kitchen including the floor, and figured it would be okay (I used a bleach product which ants seem to dislike). I went out and finished my Christmas shopping and mailed my packages and cards, and picked up some groceries, something for lunch and a few videos (Chicken Run, Titan A.E., and The Replacements), and went home to enjoy the rest of my weekend. Sadly upon arrival, I saw that a few ants managed to make their way around the bleach smell, and were wandering around in search of whatever it is they like. (These guys seem to like grease.) I ended up putting everything away, l and scrubbing the counters again. I went to have my lunch, but really wasn’t hungry, so I had a few glasses of wine instead. I watched one of the movies and took a nap. When I again entered the kitchen, this time with the intent of making dinner, there were still ants there!!! Cleaned again, and decided I really didn’t need to eat anyway, so I gave up and left to watch another video. I didn’t see any more the last time I went out, and even though I know I shouldn’t do it, I sprayed ant killer around the perimeter of the kitchen, around the dishwasher, stove, refrigerator, window, and sink. Sunday there were still ants in the kitchen, but not as many, and I saw none last night or this morning. I doubt they’re gone for good, so I’d better not let my guard down. The only good thing I can say about having an ant infestation is you really do keep a much cleaner house.
