Well, this first week on Vitamin Z has been quite interesting.
At first I felt fine, then I felt sick, then I felt tired, then I felt
fine again, and today, well, I'm not too sure yet. Ask me
around 3pm. I'm sleeping like a rock, yet I'm not rested.
I'm not sure why that is. The new dogs behind us that I
feared might be a problem have proven to not be. I think they
must be taken inside for the night, because I never hear them
after 11pm, and don't hear them until after 6am. That's
perfectly fine with me! It's also helped that it's been cooling
off so nicely at night, that I'm able to sleep with my window
closed, thus buffering all the late-night noise. Still, I have a
couple days this week, felt worse than when I only got four
hours sleep, and yet I'm getting closer to eight! I don't know if
this has to do with the Vitamin Z, or if it's just me. We did
have a full moon this past week. I guess that could've
been the problem.
Much to my surprise and delight, the fact that I can't drink
alcohol anymore doesn't seem to bother me. I don't miss it! I
really thought I might. I feared I might discover once and for
all that I'm a raging alcoholic, and would have terrible
withdrawals, but it really isn't that big of a deal. I'm actually
having fun trying new beverages like Chai tea, Perrier water
(which I tried in High School so I could look like an elitist snob,
but found out I hated the stuff; now, however, I kinda like
it!), and having NA beers, which I haven't had since I was
pregnant back in 1994. I also bought some Lean SoBes, and
some non-dairy Irish Cream flavoured stuff for my coffee,
since I realized I wouldn't be able to have any Bailey's in my
coffee on Sunday mornings, either, because it's got Irish
Whiskey in it. This stuff's non-fat, so I suppose it's better for
me than the Bailey's anyway. Tonight I need to pick up a
couple more of those Starbucks Double Shots, as they're
pretty good, too. Have you seen these? A little can of double
espresso and cream. Yummy! And not enough cream to make
my little lactose intolerant tummy all ill, either, just enough to
taste good. Yeah, it's fatty, but it's only a treat thing, like the
NA beer, the SoBes, and the tea. I like drinking them out of
the brandy snifter I used to drink my single malt scotch out
of. It looks like a liqueur. I drink the Perrier out of a wine or
champagne glass, and I've had the SoBe Leans in my slightly
oversized martini glass. It all makes me think like I'm still
drinking something sophisticated and cool. I think the only
reason I ever drank alcohol was because of the cool
glasses!
Gah, I've been so depressed first thing in the morning. I'm
sitting at my desk, perfectly fine. Nothing out of the ordinary
is happening to me, then suddenly, I'll just start thinking about
how I'll never be thin again, and how no man on the planet will
ever want to marry me, and how I'll never have children,
and how badly I miss Ian, and how I'm going to be alone for
the rest of my miserable life, and how I can't even have cats
because I'm allergic to the damn things, and I'll just start
getting all watery and weepy right there at my desk. I've had
to hide in the ladies room for a few minutes to compose myself
several times this week. I guess it's probably PMS, since the
"real" period is scheduled to start next Tuesday. (Nothing
more happened with the faux period
that messed with my head earlier this week. It was over and
done with by noon. Must've just been a fluke thing.) It's just
being exacerbated by the occasional nausea, dizziness, and all
the over loveliness brought on by the influx of new meds in my
body. Wow. What an effed up sentence. I apologize. Anyway,
I think I did pretty well on the 25mg, but tomorrow I start on
the 50mg. and I'm not ashamed to say I'm a little worried. I
think I know what to expect, but I'm not really sure. Will I be
more tired, more dizzy, more lightheaded? More nauseous? Ug!
Or will my brain actually start functioning normally, and I'll
stop obsessing about every little thing, stop chewing on my
cuticles, have an attention span longer than a gnat, and
manage to get my bulbous ass into the gym? Who knows. I
guess we'll all have to wait and see.
And, finally, this fun little ditty, link courtesy of Fractious
Times:
Which Izzard Are You?
Movie Izzard: You're not just another pretty face, you're a
pretty face on the silver screen. You are particular about
which face you show the world, and you're very careful to
make that face the most attractive. Your tastes may be a
little more refined than some, but that doesn't stop you from
getting down and dirty when the time comes.
Happy Weekend!
