(Warning: In this entry I'll be discussing some personal feminine issues. Some of you man-type creatures might want to leave now!)So, I'm thinking of calling for a doctor's appointment. Finally. I've been feeling fine, and although I know I should get a pap smear every year, I've put it off for the past two years. I've still had numerous yeast infections which I just treat with Monostat, and possibly bacterial infections as well, but those symptoms tend to come and go, so I never know if I'll be in the throws of some discomfort and nasty discharge by the time I get in to see the NP or not.
Excuses, excuses, I know.
This, however is different. This is new. This is unusual. This is a (possible) symptom of something (possibly) nasty: My right breast is leaking fluid. Not a whole lot, mind you, but leaking fluid nevertheless, and it's something that breasts just aren't supposed to do, unless you're lactating, which I'm not. I've only gotten a couple drops out at a time - a clear, runny liquid, like water - but it's enough to make me contemplate picking up the phone and making the call I've been putting off for years.
Tomorrow. I'll call tomorrow. Maybe it'll go away by then, and I can just forget about it. Like everything else. Put it off. Forget about it. It'll go away.
Okay, no I'll call today. I just have to figure out when my next period will be, so I don't end up having to reschedule.
So, I discovered this "leaking" I guess I'll call it, Monday night as I was getting ready for bed. My boobs have been feeling particularly heavy lately (They've grown since I gained weight, but they've only every felt "heavy" just before my period when my whole body is puffy.) and a bit sore, so I thought I'd check them out. I don't do breast self-exams regularly like I'm supposed to, and, like not flossing, I figured that one day it would come back and bite me in the ass. I hate to think I'm right. Anyway, I got to the part where you squeeze the nipple, and I did so, first on the left, which yielded nothing, then the right. When I squeezed the right nipple several drops of the clear, runny fluid came out. I nearly had a heart attack right there. My first thought was Holy fuck! I've got cancer! Now, I know that isn't necessarily true, but it would be my luck.
I went to bed, and somehow managed to sleep, and when I checked in the morning, a couple more drops came out. I tried for more, but that seemed to be it. Later that afternoon, I got more when I checked it in the ladies room, and still more last night, but each time it was only a couple drops, and nothing else. I've been checking the left one, too, but it's still fluid-free. Got some more this morning, so I guess that means it's not going away. I guess I'd better call. Could be nothing. Could be something. Could be I should drive my car over a cliff and get it over with. Living is just too damn hard.
