My feet? They are pretty. Pretty in pink are they! I got a pedicure last night (for the first time in weeks, I swear!) and had a pretty pink polish called "Party Girl" by J.a.n.e cosmetics painted on my toes. They are very happy, are my feet, although my left shin and right arm are decidedly not.

You see, I'm a klutz. I tend to trip over my own feet, take corners too sharply and whack into them, bump into sign posts, close car doors on my leg, and stumble around like a drunk (even when I'm sober) more often than I care to admit. Klutziness runs in the women in my family: years ago my grandmother slipped on an icy sidewalk and fell, breaking her glasses and scraping up her hands and her nose; back in our old house, my mom fell down the back stairs and messed up her ankle, and more recently she stumbled off a curb, and scraped her face and messed up an arm and a leg. Last night, it was my turn to continue the tradition.

I would blame my shoes - the black, open-toed slip-ons that I love so very, very much - but the fact is, it was my fault: I wasn't paying attention to where I was going. I was checking out the scene to see if there were any awesome photographic opportunities in the twilight of the evening. I reached the curb before I realized it, and one of my shoes started to slip off. The fashinably chunky heel caught on the curb, and I went down about as ungracefully as possible.

When I realized I was falling, I tried to catch myself, but my left leg slipped out from under me, and I whacked my left shin hard on the edge of the curb. Then I tumbled sideways and rather than landing on my ample ass, I stopped the remainder of my fall with my outstretched right arm. I had my keys in my hand, so I ended up landing on my fist, but luckily only scraped one knuckle and took off some nail polish on one nail. My poor shin, however, was not as fortunate: there was a slight scrape that bled a little, but stopped almost immediately, and a lump that grew to the size of my fist just below my knee. While that's pretty impressive, it was nothing compared to the bump my good friend Weetabix had on her leg all through JournalCon.

Thankfully, I didn't break or dislocate anything, and quickly got up off the pavement and brushed myself off. No one saw me, thank God, and I was able to gather my scattered shoes, and scurry away into the night. My leg ached a bit, but really didn't hurt too much, and since I was able to walk on it without any trouble, I went and had my pedi anyway (I needed it more than ever by then!). The nice young man who had to deal with my nasty feet carefully avoided the swollen, scraped up area when he massaged my legs. He didn't say anything, but I could see him staring at the lump with a look of sympathtic pain. Or was that horror? I'm not entirely sure. I felt pretty bad for the poor kid, though, so I gave him a couple extra bucks in his tip.

It was while I was driving home that I noticed my right arm hurt. A lot. The way I landed on it must've strained ligiments, or pulled muscles, or jarred joints, or something to make it ache so. When I got home and checked it, however, there was no swelling or bruising or any other indication of damage, so I figured it was fine. It was just gonna hurt for a few days. By that time, my left leg ached, too, and I decided to give up on the day, and turn in early. I doctored up my scrapped knuckle and shin with some hydrogen peroxide, neosporin and band aids, took an Excedrin P.M. and went to bed.

This morning, the swelling on my shin was all but completely gone, and it didn't hurt anymore. My right arm, on the other hand (no pun intended), was stiff and very, very sore! Still, I was able to shift and steer my car, and type on my computer, and do my filing and other work-related things, so I just took a couple Advil, and didn't worry about it.

*sigh*

Such is my life, I swear! If I believed in The Fates, I'd say they had it in for me, but since I don't, I'll just chalk it up to bad luck, and my own stupidity.

Anyway . . .

Here's to 2004! Let's hope it's a good one! Cheers, and Happy New Year!

For what it's worth,
Hez

Home