self-portrait.net

September 1, 2003
The End of Summer

While I know that summer does not officially end for another three weeks, the first day of September always seems to signal the end of traditional summertime fun. The Labor Day weekend is like Summer's Last Fling, as if suddenly, on September 2nd, the temperatures will drop dramatically, and all the leaves on the trees will change from a healthy, supple green to a crispy red and gold and brown, and fall off the branches overnight. This weekend, everyone has been at the beach, on the lake or riding the Dunes, frantically trying to get that last bit of summer fun in before it's all over. I guess there is something to that way of thinking: many schools start after Labor Day, and even the ones that have been in session the week or so before the holiday weekend were not heavily into the curriculum just yet. It'll be the last time for awhile that families can go on vacation together.

I've been having those "End of Summer" feelings, too, though I'm no longer in school. It's not the "blues," exactly, but something else. Like, there's so much I've left undone, and now there's no time left to do them. It's frustration combined with defeat. There were just so many things I'd intended to do over the summer, and now summer's basically over. I planned on spending some time laying on Avila Beach, like I did when I was unemployed, and even swimming in the ocean (which I enjoy immensely), but I never had the time. I wanted to go kayaking in Morro Bay, and maybe even Cambria. I thought I might like to learn to surf, and become a "real" California girl. But, there were always other things I had to do, or needed to do, so I never got around to the adventurous activities. I figured I could probably get to some of these things during September because the weather's still pretty nice, but then, two weeks ago, a swimmer was killed by a shark at Avila Beach, and all my desire to go to the beach or out onto the ocean vanished. I've never been afraid of the water before, not even after watching "Jaws." But this wasn't "Jaws." This wasn't a made-up story with fictional characters, a mechanical shark and a director to yell "CUT!" This was real life: a real human being killed by a real great white shark. So. No ocean activities for me.

Along with all the adventurous activities, I had also planned to go places this summer - Cambria, Morro Bay, Pismo Beach, Solvang - but I never made it. It's not like I didn't go anywhere this summer. I went to LA, Costa Mesa, Santa Barbara and Santa Cruz. Those were all very fun trips, and just what I needed at the time, but it just doesn't seem like enough. I really wanted to do more this summer! I planned on doing more. I planned to bar-b-que more than five times this summer. I planned to go hiking somewhere, rather than just walking up to Carlene's for coffee Saturday morning. I planned to go to Santa Margarita Lake and have a picnic. I planned to spend more time outdoors enjoying the summer sun instead of sleeping away so many Saturday and Sunday afternoons. Best laid plans, I guess.

I only managed to make it to one Concert in the Plaza, and never made it down to the Lake for the Tuesday or Saturday concerts there. Never made it up to Frankie's Deli for a glass of wine on a Friday night, forgot about Atascadero Cruise Night, and missed the Central Coast Wine Festival, and Pops by the Sea.

I guess I should be happy I managed to cram as much fun as I did into the brief summer season, but I'm still unsatisfied. I want more summer! I want to do more summer stuff, but now it's all over. Unofficially, but still. Over.