1. I actually cried when I first saw the new ad for the 2005 Ford Mustang, the one where Steve McQueen emerges from the corn field, takes the keys from the farmer, and takes off in the car. I know some people think the whole digitally inserting a dead movie actor into a commercial is creepy (I used to think the same thing when one of those beer companies used John Wayne in one of their ads. It was obviously an insert and therefore it was creepy and weird), but this insertion was so flawless, I really thought it was Steve McQueen coming to drive the car. I love Steve McQueen.

2. Sunday's episode of Desperate Housewives, where Lynette is overwhelmed by her out-of-control children, and in a haze of medication, herbal remedies, and no sleep, she fantasizes about committing suicide. Though I don't have any children (reason to cry all the freakin' time for me!), I could really feel her despiration and desire to escape from her hopelessly insane situation. I know what it feels like to want to get away like that, and thankfully I was watching it alone, because if there's anything worse than bawling because of a TV show, it's bawling because of a TV show when someone else is around.

3. The whole Ebersol plane crash incident has just broken my heart into a million pieces. Ditto Laci Peterson's mother's testamony at the penalty phase of Scott Peterson's trial.

Those two tragedies alone make me feel worse for feeling sorry for myself, but I can't help it. Tis the season to be morbidly depressed. Fa la la la la . . . oh, to hell with it!

4. The song Letters From War by Mark Schultz makes me burst into tears every singe time. I can't help it. If I'm driving, I have to pull over and sob uncontrollably. It's such a beautiful song!

5. The fact that I'm still such a fat cow is very, very depressing. I'm going to end up wearing the exact same party dress to this year's AMBerland Christmas Bash as I did last year, and the year before that, becuase I haven't lost any weight, and all the formal dress stuff they have for fat girls are really made for 60-year-old women. I had found an adorable dress on the Lane Bryant website, but by the time I grabbed my coupons and my credit card, it was sold out.

Such is my life, I guess.

for (ho) what (ho) it's (ho) worth | Hez