The past few years as a childless woman have been very hard for me. Most of my friends are married and have at least one, if not more, children. In fact, one of my high school friends just had her third child last month. While I'm very happy for her and her husband, I can't help but be just a wee bit jealous of her. As I am with all my married, blessed-with-children friends.
The hardest part has been the baby boom experienced here at work, as well as on-line. Several journallers I read regularly have had babies, or are currently expecting. The party after work last Friday included spouses and children/babies of employees, and seeing all the adorable children and precious babies was almost more than I could bear. I tried to joke it off, but it didn't work. I keep trying to convince myself that my life is perfectly fine just the way it is. That I don't need to have children to be fulfilled as a woman. I can just get a cat.
It's bullshit. Complete and utter bullshit, and I know it. No matter how good my life gets, how content I believe I've become, there will always be something missing from my life. Something I will never be able to have. Something that will be very, very hard to live the rest of my life without: children.
